Friends or Foes?

Okay… I lied.  I said that there won’t be any update till next week but here I am blogging away again.  Can’t help it when the idea suddenly popped up and insisted to be blogged 😉

We all started off as strangers.  Either through mutual circumstances or a friend of a friend.  Apart from those who are socially inept, making friends are generally an easy task for most people.  Some will remain as acquaintances, some as ‘Hi’ and ‘Bye’ friends, some as party friends, some as family friends but to attain the ‘Best Friend’ title, we only have but a few.  Consider yourself lucky if you had a handful of friends who genuinely care for you regardless of your wealth or health.  Who will be there for you through thick and thin.  Who will not be stopped by the mileage of separation in times of utter emergency.  Who will never doubt you in times of accusations at least not until after a proper confrontation.

I am one of the lucky few who had a handful of amazing friends and I will be forever grateful for that 🙂  However, I did not go through life blessed with amazing friends all the way.  I had misjudged a person’s integrity before and put myself in situation to be intensely disappointed.  For every less fortunate incident with a friend, I learned to appreciate those that truly matters even more.  I don’t blame those who forsake me, I just consider myself lucky to discover their true personality earlier rather than later.

Maybe I am an idiot for I do not know how to fake it.  After a period of time if I genuinely like someone, I will give them my heart and trust.  On the other hand if I don’t, they will know.  It is not in my nature to play the socialist role.  Life is too short to waste my precious time on those that I do not care for.  Unfortunately, sometimes friendships are not as black and white as I would like it to be.  There are various external factors that could destroy a friendship especially when the bond is lack of sustainable strength.

Betrayal is the most common factor to end a friendship.  I have not really been betrayed by many friends, especially those that I truly cared for but a couple.  I suppose there is a first for everything.  My first 3 decades of life has been accompanied by a smooth sailing string of friends.  Sometimes, the betrayal could be deal to misunderstanding.  In this situation, a confrontation is necessary in order to strengthen the existing bond.  Otherwise, the bond will eventually wither away.  If that is the intention, then fair enough.

It never ceases to surprise me how much more there is to learn in life.  When you thought you knew the best of life, suddenly a mind boggling incident arises to challenge your perseverance and further educate you about life.  This world is full of strange people and things!  Sometimes I just cannot fathom the logic behind certain human actions.  Perhaps I pride myself too much on my knowledge of right and wrong.  Perhaps I am too emotionally alert.  I have always known my emotional status be it happy or depressive.  I have always known what is good for me and what is not.  Sure enough, there are times that I was wickedly tempted to step into the dark side knowing perfectly well that it is not right, but I prevailed.  However, if I did step into the dark side, I would have done it consciously and by choice.

Very often when a friend came to you and told you that she/he is drowning in a pit of quick sand, as a true friend, your instinct will be to stick your hand in and drag them out of the pit.  But be warned, you are lucky if they could be freed with your help, otherwise, you would either fall into the pit with them or they would drag you in, leech on your strength to free themselves and then leave you to rot in the pit.  Sometimes, being a little selfish and cautious are not entirely a bad idea.

In conclusion, genuine friends are a gem but problematic friends will one day be a foe.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jeri on February 22, 2009 at 12:28 am

    the best expression I have for certain people is frenemy (friend+enemy combined coz you don’t know how you feel bout them ! are they good, are they evil – how the hell do we really can w tell ?!?)

    breaking up with mates has been way more painful for me than breaking up with boyfriends, trust me, but its just a matter of life I’ve learnt to accept, people change & situations change, so with friends-they tend to change as well… the good thing is we’ll always meet new people & gain new experiences..

    I know whatever the changes in my life, I will always (and so far I always have) looked back & laugh at things I thought were a big deal but it really really wasn’t 🙂 and those laughing along with me bout my sad pathetic life experiences will be long lasting friends like YOU LOVING PEOPLE OUT THERE, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE 🙂

    next time someone is drowning in a pit & you don’t want to/ can’t help them- let them rot & drown, God only helps those who help themselves 🙂


    • Posted by kareensyl on February 22, 2009 at 2:31 am

      It is definitely easier to break up with boyfriends than to be disappointed by a friend. Men are easy and I hope all the women who fall in love with worthless men will come to their senses and realised that relationships are the least challenging part of life. Hear, hear to the Almighty only helps those who help themselves 🙂


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