Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Glee – An Inspiration

It is never too late

Alright, I am not exactly Glee age or a Gleek but I do enjoy the series tremendously.  Perhaps some will frown at my choice but life is short and I shouldn’t care about what others think.  Besides, we are all naturally young at heart and if we  were not required to deteriorate biologically, we will be partying till the world ends.  Recently I have been reading books written in the perspective of a dying person.  Even in their darkest moments, they still wish they could do the things they did when they were young.  Unfortunately human lives are limited, we will all grow old inadvertently, there is no escape.  At the most, we are blessed with 3 decades of strong bones after adolescent and everything starts to descend after that.  Our organs, stamina, metabolism, memory except our need to remain young.

Glee does not only inspire the misfits but also channel the message, ‘It is never too late.’  At least that was the effect it had on me.  After every single episode, I feel inspired to pursue for the things that I have always wanted.  Things that I have long buried away due to the natural course of life.

When we were young, we had incredible imaginations, the world is a beautiful place, relationships are irresistibly romantic.  As we grew older, we became more cynical and practical, for life neccesitate survival over indulgence.  I am deeply saddened by this fact of life when I, too, had fallen into this dark hole of practicality.  No doubt, survival is vital but that does not mean we should forego everything else that used to make our lives exciting and worth living for.  Things that gave life to us.

No matter how old we are, I believed it is never too late.  Hell, if I could only bungy jump at the age of 80 so be it.  I mean after 80 years of life, I would like to pass feeling accomplished and if bungy killed me, at least I will have a smile on my face.

Go out, smell your childhood, pick up a hobby you have always wanted to but keep procrastinating due to time limitation.  No more excuses, make time, treat yourself a little better, be a responsible adult with a life worth living!



I have been told by a dear friend that my last post, “C’Mon!  Pop Already!” was rather disturbing as I had popped and joined the ‘zombie’ club.  Never in my life again that I would take sleep for granted.

Okay… where to begin… baby came out a healthy 3.35kg little boy.  Since then, life has not been quite the same.  I was prepared to face all the changes… well… as prepared as a first timer parent could be.  Sleep deprivation, lost of social life, personal interest sacrifices are all expected.  The little bundle of joy came together with a list of small prints.  Is it worth it?  At the moment… yes… can’t imagine 20 years down the line when the little bundle of joy choose to forsake the mother for another woman, which of course, is the order of life.

As a new parent, I can see clearly now how children are able to cause the devastation of parents by rebelling against them.  I mean, think about it, from a 3kg little thing, our parents with the patience of a saint, devoted day and night in nappy changing, cleaning, feeding, cooing and praying that the little one will grow up to be strong and healthy.  Hoping that nothing bad will ever befall them.  It is with the becoming of a mother, I realised that whatever we do as someone’s child, we can never repay the debt that we owe our parents. The least that we could do is to be there when they needed us.

Right now I can hardly keep my eyes open hence the update on my blog.  I am hoping that I am able to stimulate my brain with creativity… however… I think my effort is not producing the result that I seek.

I may read this in 2 days time and think… ‘What the @@@@?!’

Till then, if this particular blog seems incoherent, it is because it is! 😉

C’mon! Just Pop Aready!

Since I have been advised to stay at home to wait out my pregnancy, I finally have the chance to check my blog.  My gosh!  My last update was 2 months ago!  Yet again, this proved how time flies with anticipation.

I am due in 2 days and suffer from mild pregnancy hypertension.  Am I excited?  To be honest,  I think I am more impatient than excited at this point.  The weight of my baby bump is taking a toll out of me.  I kept waking up every hour or 2 throughout the night.  It seems like a decent straight 4 hours slumber is no longer possible.  I am anxious about how my BP affects the health of my baby.  I am easily irritated and I just want to get it over and done with!  Basically, just pop already! 😀

Actually, I have been rather lucky throughout my entire pregnancy.  No morning sickness, cravings or any unreasonable mood swings or depression.  I was jolly all the way till now… I have to concur that the last 2 weeks of a pregnancy is the hardest.  It’s like, so near yet so far!  You are like a walking time bomb just waiting to pop.

In terms of weight, I have not been as lucky as some.  My total weight gain up till now is 23 kg.  The only consolation that I’ve got is that 95% of my weight gain is due to water retention.  I know cause honestly, if I could be seen physically, I am one swollen walking Michelin twins.

So, I believed in 2 days time, my doctor will induce the birth of my first born cause it is time.  He is a very mature fetus by now as he is 40 weeks old.  I am just crossing my fingers that I will be able to deal with whatever pain that is gonna hit me.  If all fail, just give me the bloody Pethidine!!! 😉


To claim myself as a blogger is to insult all other bloggers.  Seriously, I have been so inactive in the recent months that I think I no longer deserve a personal blog!  I suppose I shouldn’t blame it on my pregnancy should I?  Although it does sound like an extremely valid reason… hmm…

In fact, I should be blogging about my first pregnancy and all that I am going through now.  Things like physical, emotional and hormonal changes.  Unfortunately, being pregnant tends to induce complacency.  Sad but true.  Maybe it doesn’t affect all mothers to be but it certainly does to me!  Whatever energy I’ve got left in me was being expressed in my work.  I can officially claimed that work has sucked up all my energy!

Anyway, back to the point of this blog.  Being pregnant made me reminisce a little more than usual.  I have not felt beautiful or sexy for a while now.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love my baby bump cause it is adorable despite its weight.  But I am physically constrained from doing anything exciting or fun.  Therefore, one evening, I went through all my good ole’ days photos.  I came across quite a few photos of myself and all the hot men!  Most of these men were just friends.  I felt the sudden urge of sharing them with friends that are going through similar emotional threat as me.  Just a reminder that we did have a great life and we still can as long as we persevere.

So my dilemma is to post or not to post…

Pipe Dream

Remember how your parents discourage your aspiration to be an actress, a singer, an artist, a musician, a writer, condemning these choices as your pipe dream, unrealistic hope?  Impractical career choices.  I certainly did.  Unfortunately with age, I begin to see their point of view.  Their concern for their children’s future if not delivered appropriately would be viewed as unsupportive, hence creating a life long misunderstanding between parents and children.

Most parents hope their children will lead a comfortable if not luxury life.  Food and shelter not being a problem at all.  In order to do that, parents tend to encourage their children to opt for much more practical careers.  Of course in every industry, there are success stories including being an actor, artist, musician and writer.  However, it is easier to attain comfort through a practical job than in the creative world.  We all knew how actors and musicians suffered before their success, how painters struggled before their work are being acknowleged and how many rejections before a publication.  A much more stable income could easily be obtained through being a doctor, an accountant, an engineer and many other professional careers.

At the end of the day, parents did what they did in order to protect their children.  Frustrating?  Of course it is.  Are they doing something wrong?  I don’t think so.

My point is, even when we are a professional, it doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our pipe dream.  We could still compose music, draw, write and even act!  Why not?  Now that we have a stable income, we no longer need to worry about not having enough money to pay the rent or buy the necessary equipments.  In fact, we could  peacefully pursue our pipe dreams.   Who knows, one day your pipe dream will be your main source of income.  If not, you still have your professional title.  Nothing to lose.

I, for one, am still pursuing my pipe dream.  It doesn’t matter how long it takes, as long as I stay true to myself and not forsake my interests.  My interests are the foundation that built the person I am, forsaking them are like giving up part of who I am.  Nope, I will not do that.  I will not change who I am because of circumstances.  I still believe that one day, my unrealistic hope may become realistic…

You Thought You Knew

Some of you may believe in Fate, some of you may not.  For me, I have always kept an open mind.  There were things that happened in my life that I could not explain.  I had been in circumstances where I could try my very best to avoid or achieve but yet I was defeated not because of my lack of determination but it just happened.  You thought you knew and life can be controlled and everything is about the choices you make.  I am a firm believer of choices, yet sometimes, I can’t help but wonder, who make the choices for us when we are not given one?

As illustrated in My Story, Internal Battle – Force of Nature, I was literally sent home.  Didn’t I try hard enough?  I believed I did.  Who can explain out of everyone’s belongings and easier access, why mine was chosen?  The non-believers can argue that this is bad luck.  Sure, it could be but what provoked the bad luck?  Why some suffer more bad luck than the others?  Who can answer all these questions anyway.  When questions cannot be scientifically answered, what do you call them?  Destiny?  Fate?  Or just pure luck?

No doubt the choices we make affect the majority of the outcome of our life.  For example, a girl met a guy who worship her and is ready to marry her, she decided to reject him because say…. maybe he is not hot enough?  10 years down the line, the girl is still single and withering into her old age, started complaining how unfair life is when all her friends are happily married but her.  Well, she could be married 10 years ago but she CHOSE not to.  Fair enough if she was not ready then but she has to deal with the consequences of her own decision instead of blaming on how life had made her a victim as if she has been completely innocent and ignorant.  When in actual fact, she was probably just too arrogant.

Every single decision that we make is the planting of a seed.  In time the seed will grow and we will witness the consequences, be it good or bad.  Today I rejected a job because the pay is not lucrative enough, tomorrow the company becomes filthy rich with excellent plans for their employees.  I started to wonder, what if… NO POINT.  Why?  Because the decision was made despite the tell tale signs of the possible development of the company.  Again, arrogance may have gotten in the way and regret is completely pointless.

Now, what about incidences such as, Sara takes the underground to work everyday and today, she decided to walk the short distance out of no reason.  The underground crashed and killed 5o people.  Sara could be one of them but she escaped.  Why?  Because she is lucky?  If so, why out of all these people, she is given the luck?  Could it be because she is predetermined NOT to die just yet?  And the predetermined order of life is known as…. FATE.

Now, whether you believe in Fate or not, you have to admit that there are some things in life that just cannot be explained.  Just when you thought you knew and everything is in within your control, do not be surprised when nothing goes according to your plan.

Vote for Jackie Campaign


During one dinner, Jackie told me that she would like to apply for The Best Job In The World and at that point, I did not know what it was all about.  She later explained to me the job responsibilities and how to apply for it.  My first thought was, this is not going to be easy but then it is Jackie and she has always been good with the videos, blogs and entertainment industry in general.  So, I encouraged her to go for it.


For the next few weeks, she experienced many technical difficulties and had to work with a super tight budget.  At one point, I was supposed to be her masseur dressed in batik sarung to represent Borneo!  I would have done it as well!  However, I couldn’t deny that I was extremely grateful when the idea was finally dropped 🙂  Phew!  Thanks Jacks! 😉

After days of listening to Jackie describing her plan to me, she finally went into shooting the video application.  I was so impressed with her sago worm chewing clip!  That was fantastic!

And you know what, it’s all worth it!  She is now in the Top 50 short list and fighting to win the wild card.  Lets help to make Jackie’s dream of being the caretaker for the Great Barrier Reef comes true!

Click here to vote for Jackie Miao